tl;dr

 Sorry bossman, Clearly I didn't want to get my shit together. I was so unhappy in the direction that I was going I did the most possible to self-sabotage myself. I removed myself from the violin by playing rugby. 

I failed to realize the importance that I should not have been playing rugby if I was serious about playing the violin. I was on a self-destructive mission when I went on the pitch. I had not worn a mouth guard the entire season. I truly did not care about my own well-being. Except I was scared. I never fully committed to rugby, just like I never fully committed to the violin. The day before my first orchestra concert of the semester. 

During the warm-up for the game I rolled my ankle. No big deal, I could still put pressure on it, but I was limited in mobility. I was not playing the A-Side game because of my whole not caring in the spring... Then came the B-side game. I'm seen as a leader? Yikes. I was out there bossing my pack around. Just kind of chilling, then I started getting more involved. I had 1 carry that ended with a huge dump tackle, but I did not turn the ball over. After a few plays, I was kind of exposed on defense. I tried to make a tackle on someone who had already broken 1 tackle and I am not a great tackler. I held on to him but could not wrap and take him to ground. As I fell, I noticed my left ring finger was a little fucked up. As we went into a scrum soon after. I realized what happened. I broke my finger.

I left the pitch instantly. 

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